Touristeninformation

Weil sich die einen oder anderen überlegen, vielleicht in der Schweiz Ferien zu machen, hier ein paar Touristeninformationen:

Grüezi and Welcome in Switzerland

Dear tourists from near and far! Please come to Europe! But do not only visit Rome or Paris with their very old buildings but also Zurich with its very new image! Perhaps you will be a bit confused in the beginning, but that's exactly what it's all about!

When you land in Kloten, you will first think you are in Munich, but then you'll have a big laugh when it turns out to be just a joke of the witty airport-owners (unique). You are in Switzerland and not in Germany, which is easy to understand as the local taxi driver speaks Albanian and not Turkish.

He will bring you to Zurich, which we call Downtown Switzerland, or, if you prefer, to Opfikon-Glattbrugg, which we call Bronx Switzerland.
Visit the Bahnhofstrasse (Times Square Switzerland) and the Chreis Cheib (Lower East Side Switzerland). Then go to the Hauptbahnhof (Central Station Switzerland), look at the Alfred-Escher-Denkmal (Statue of Liberty Switzerland) and take a train to Lugano (Little Italy Switzerland).On your way back, make a stop at Luzern (Chinatown Switzerland) and visit the famous Brooklyn Bridge. Now you have the choice to go Bern (Washington D.C Switzerland), where the Bundesrat is governing and sometimes almost fighting, or to visit Schaffhausen (Niagara Falls Switzerland).

By now you will have guessed by yourself that Downtown Switzerland is of course a candidate for the Olympic Winter games because we have neither mountains nor snow in Zurich, just a little bit of Pflotsch every three years. No problem. Zurich Tourism will bring all the Olympic visitors to the Uetliberg (Central Park Switzerland), will stopf them into the Albisguetlihaus (Madison Square Garden Switzerland) and make them hear a concert by Nella Martinetti (Fats Domino Switzerland).

Now I wish you a very nice stay in Switzerland. At the end of your holiday, go back to the airport. If you are very lucky, our national airline or another one will fly you back home, if not, just throw away your passport and go to the next church, they will give you food and you can remain in Switzerland forever.

Greetings from Switzerland
Tourist Information Center

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